Genesis 1:1
בְּרֵאשִׁית בָּרָא אֱלֹהִים אֵת הַשָּׁמַיִם וְאֵת הָאָֽרֶץ
Beginning-ing of Elohim’s creating of the heavens and earth.
— Tr. Roberta Wall
At the beginning of God’s creating of the heavens and the earth.
— Tr. Everett Fox
In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few. — Suzuki Roshi
A story about Beginning-ing
A few hundred of us were seated in rows on the floor of a large chapel in a Catholic convent in Litchfield, Connecticut. We assembled there yearly with Roshi Bernie, as Jewish Zen Buddhist teacher Roshi Bernie Glassman was called, for a New Year’s meditation retreat. Seven days of silent sitting, chanting, and quiet contemplation.
Roshi Bernie spoke to us one evening about beginner’s mind, beginning-ing. First he introduced a koan, a Chinese Zen teaching story:
The old Chinese master is sitting peacefully in his pagoda, sipping a hot cup of tea. His student comes to the door and calls, Master, Master.
It was the way Bernie said Master that went right through me. “Maaaaaster,” in a raspy, singsong voice, stretching out the vowel sounds in ”Maaaaaaster”
I heard in it the voice of my childhood, a Brooklyn-accented Jewish singsong intonation. Bernie and I were from the same neighborhood and went to the same high school. I knew that earthy voice.
Bernie went on with the story, bellowing out the Master’s one word answer in a deeper, steadier baritone voice, “yes.“
Silence.
And the student came again the next day and stood at the door and once again called, “Maaaster, Maaaster,” in that raspy singsong voice, stretching out the sound of the vowels in ”Maaaaaaster.”
And the Master replied in the same steady sonorous voice, “Yes.“
Silence.
And, Bernie said, this went on, day after day.
Silence.
And I am just sitting in the hall, listening and wondering, what is the Dharma, the Torah, the teaching of this story for my life?
And then Bernie looked out at us again and he said, it’s like when you put your child to bed, and you tuck them in, and you turn out the light and go into the hall, and you hear a little voice from under the covers calling, “Daaaaaddy," stretching out the “a” in Daddy so that it sounds like Daaaaddy,” and you go back in and you say “yes, my love,” and the little voice says, “I’m scared, it’s dark…”
You say, “yes,” and you turn on a night light. And you head out, and the little voice calls again, "Daaaaaddy," stretching out the “a” in Daddy so that it sounds like “Daaaaddy,” and you go back in and you say, “Yes, my love. ”And the little voice calls again, “I’m cold,” and you go back in and you ask, “Would you like to be tucked in again?” And you tuck them in again, touch their forehead, and brush your lips against their forehead, and you head out and again you hear the little voice calling again, “Daaaaaddy,” and go back in and hear, “I’m scared.”
And you go back in, and on and on.
And Roshi Bernie said, "Can you go in each time as if it’s the first time?"
Sitting here decades later, I look up from my computer and see a riotous crisscross of deciduous and evergreen trees, red, brown and yellow leaves falling. Another autumn is here and passing so quickly.
Can I see this as if it’s the first time?
Torah at the beginning
Bereishit, בְּרֵאשִׁית, beginning-ing, is the very first word of the written Torah. In the cycle begun 1500 years ago by rabbis in the Mideast, we begin studying and practicing this first section, or parashah, of Torah each year, entering this consciousness of beginning-ing, right after the Jewish festivals of Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur and the Sukkot harvest festival.
The calendar and rituals are set up to create a collective experience of beginning-ing, of beginner's mind. New relationships with ourselves, our families, our God. Everything is new, everything is possible.
Nonviolent Communication
Nonviolent Communication offers helpful practices for us to step into the consciousness of beginning-ing so we see another person and communicate with them in new ways.
We start with curiosity — what have I experienced that has caused a breakdown in connection with this other person? And what have they experienced? The mind of curiosity is beginner’s mind, free of judgments and diagnoses of the other person, the mind of beginning-ing. We look with curiosity to understand what worlds were created with our words and actions and what worlds do we want to create with new words and actions.
Let’s say you have received an email or a communication from someone.
You receive the communication in a way that doesn’t bring you a joyful connection. You know this because you feel tension in your body, or you recognize thoughts appearing in your mind such as, this person is an idiot or this person is so clueless, selfish, etc. And/or you recognize that you feel irritated, angry, hurt, tense, etc.
Can you step into curiosity about your own experience so you get clarity about why this other person’s words affect you the way they do.
That clarity will help you understand yourself and also communicate more clearly to the other person what is important to you.
Here is a chart about how we use Nonviolent Communication to develop clarity, then compassionate connection, then empowerment to act in ways that are more likely to meet our needs.
Let’s start by getting clarity about the thoughts and judgments you are having about the other person, and using those thoughts and judgments to understand what the impact of their actions has been on you.
You can do this by translating your thoughts/judgments/analyses the person into what NVC founder Marshall Rosenberg called Life Serving Communication.
First you get clear about what happened — what did they do that is so painful/aggravating /scary for you, that you are labeling them good/bad, right/wrong? Not what you are thinking about what they did; just what happened. This is your observation.
That observation, the way it impacted you and the meaning you make of it, has generated feelings in you. How do you feel in your physical body and emotions, when you think now about what happened? Feelings List .
And what is it about what happened that is so important to you that you feel this way? What is it that you deeply value? What would bring you fully alive, what would contribute to your joy, safety, connection, respect? Needs/values list.
Instead of beginning or proceeding from judgments about the other person, which will cause further separation, you begin from understanding your own feelings and needs, why what happened has impacted you in this way. And, if you decide to let the other person know, you begin to communicate about yourself, not blaming or shaming the other person.
Or, you may feel curious about the other person's experience, what happened for them, and you would begin by guessing from curiosity what they observed and what their feelings and needs are.
From a shared place of curiosity about each other, hearing each other's needs/values and experience, new strategies to solve the problem will arise. A new consciousness arises out of the common field of shared experiencing.
Inspiration
This poem speaks from that place of beginning-ing, of arriving anew in each moment to discover how we open to compassion when we recognize ourselves in each other.
Please Call Me by My True Names
—Thich Nhat Hanh
Don’t say that I will depart tomorrow —
even today I am still arriving.
Look deeply: every second I am arriving
to be a bud on a Spring branch,
to be a tiny bird, with still-fragile wings,
learning to sing in my new nest,
to be a caterpillar in the heart of a flower,
to be a jewel hiding itself in a stone.
I still arrive, in order to laugh and to cry,
to fear and to hope.
The rhythm of my heart is the birth and death
of all that is alive.
I am the mayfly metamorphosing
on the surface of the river.
And I am the bird
that swoops down to swallow the mayfly.
I am the frog swimming happily
in the clear water of a pond.
And I am the grass-snake
that silently feeds itself on the frog.
I am the child in Uganda, all skin and bones,
my legs as thin as bamboo sticks.
And I am the arms merchant,
selling deadly weapons to Uganda.
I am the twelve-year-old girl,
refugee on a small boat,
who throws herself into the ocean
after being raped by a sea pirate.
And I am the pirate,
my heart not yet capable
of seeing and loving.
I am a member of the politburo,
with plenty of power in my hands.
And I am the man who has to pay
his “debt of blood” to my people
dying slowly in a forced-labor camp.
My joy is like Spring, so warm
it makes flowers bloom all over the Earth.
My pain is like a river of tears,
so vast it fills the four oceans.
Please call me by my true names,
so I can hear all my cries and my laughter at once,
so I can see that my joy and pain are one.
Please call me by my true names,
so I can wake up,
and so the door of my heart
can be left open,
the door of compassion.