Pekudei | Bearing Witness

 

אֵלֶּה פְקוּדֵי הַמִּשְׁכָּן מִשְׁכַּן הָעֵד

These are the ingredients of the mishkan-sanctuary, the witnessing sanctuary

Exodus 38:22

 

The last few moments in the Book of Exodus introduce us to a new name and purpose for the Mishkan, the sanctuary for divine energy that travels with us through the deserts and dark wood of our lives. The new name is the Tent of edut, bearing witness. The Mishkan moves with us, bearing witness to the full spectrum of our humanness. The presence that fills it see us and still loves and protects us.

The Tent of Edut opens us to the power and capacity to bear witness, to not turn away from the impact of our actions. It reveals to us the potential we have to stay connected with our hearts intact in the midst of human wandering and suffering.

We keep this energy alive by building sanctuaries in our own hearts and in our societies that nourish our capacity to not turn away from suffering, to bear witness to it and dedicate ourselves to healing the causes and conditions of suffering.

We do this by examining and retelling our individual and collective narratives, our stories about who we are and how we got here.  In the US, it means carrying in our very midst witnessing and awareness of the genocide we commit against native and African-American peoples. Carrying this in our midst as reminders, not to bear shame and blame, not to turn away. But rather to inform us of what we are indeed capable of and to inspire vigilance and openness towards something different. This is why Torah scholars throughout the ages see the mishkan as the healing of the great fall of the Israelites, the building of a false golden idol.  This is why Torah tablets are broken and rewritten.  To instruct us to continually bear witness to the impact of our actions and boldly find correctives.

This is what tens of thousands of Israelis will do on May 3, the Israeli/Palestinian Joint Memorial Day. They will boldly proclaim our liberation was on your backs. This is how we make a different future possible. This provides courage for hundreds of thousands of Russian people to take to the streets, bravely saying, our future is with the Ukrainian people, not against them.

The word mishkan is repeated  in the opening lines of this week's Torah portion. This signifies that we are to build two mishkans- one in our hearts and one in the heart of our collective cultures, societies and relationships.

Mishkan in our Heart

The Netivot Shalom, a 20th century Hasidic commentator, brings a teaching from the mystical tradition: the word edut, which is translated as testimony or witness, is composed of the same letters as the word da’at, meaning intimate knowledge. (Thank you to Rabbi Diane Elliot for this teaching.)

Being present to accompany and witness our own hearts provides us with the empathy, care and stability we need to dwell peacefully in every moment. Cultivating an intimate understanding of our own feelings of hopelessness, helplessness and despair, and also joy and fulfillment,  awakens us to the vast intimate knowledge that lies within.

Cultivating this awareness and resting in it as we move through the day is at the heart of Judaism, Engaged Buddhism, Nonviolent Communication and so many other paths that help us bridge our inner and outer worlds.

It is summed up in an expression I learned from Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh, “Peace begins with me.” “In that space between stimulus and response,” as Victor Frankel wrote about his survival at Auschwitz, my soul can survive and I can choose how to be in the moment, when I find that still point inside and let it nourish and enliven me.

I can take refuge in the tent of witness inside myself, holding space and allowing all of my feelings and reactions. I may want to do this sitting quietly and following my breath or tapping on energy points in the body or asking a friend to put their hand on my back. Just as divinity fills the mishkan in the center of the people, we  fill our center with beauty and generosity and comfort.

The detailed bedecking of the mishkan with jewels and tapestries, gifts and skills that pour forth from open hearts, can be objects of visualization to bring us into connection with the awareness and beauty that lays at the source of everything.

And yet, as with everything in our phenomenal world,  there is a shadow side to witnessing.  Many years ago I attended a bearing witness retreat at Auschwitz. Bernie Glassman, founder of the Zen Peacemaker Order, spoke to us of turning Auschwitz into a place of pilgrimage. There is a shadow side to making use of unbearable horror for our own spiritual elevation.

To write poetry after Auschwitz is barbaric.

— Theodor Adorno

And still, Torah instructs, build a sanctuary to bear witness.

"The holy work of creating the Mishkan ha-edut represents a tikkun, a repair of da’at.  Participating in its creation, we are fortified in our ability to witness the truth of Oneness in the face of fear, disappointment, personal distress, even boredom. As contemporary mystic and scholar Rabbi Miles Krassen writes, “We need such sacred constructions because our little eyes are too weak and easily distracted and cannot recognize directly that we are already blessed to be present within a Divinely constructed sanctuary, the Earth Herself….”

R. Diane Elliot

Inner Witnessing, a Practice from Nonviolent Communication

Settle in a quiet place with a journal or clean sheet of paper and comfortable pen or pencil.

• Think of something you've done or said or didn't do or say that you now regret
• What do you say to yourself about this? Make room for every thought, judgment, expression of disappointment and regret. Don't censor, make room for intimately seeing your inner landscape
• Write down what you're saying to yourself
• Notice how you feel in your physical body when you are thinking and writing these thoughts. Give space to witness and allow these feelings.
• Notice how you feel in your emotional body when you are thinking and writing these thoughts. Give space to witness and allow these feelings.
• Bring all of your feelings into your Tent of Witnessing, give them refuge.
• All of the thoughts and feelings connected to your regret are giving you intimate knowledge of what you wish you had done, what you wish you had the capacity to do. These thoughts and feelings are pointing you to understand how you yearn to show up in the world.
• Sit with that yearning and let the beauty of what you're yearning for fill your inner Tent of Witnessing.

Deeper Dive
You can stop here or dive deeper into da'at, intimate knowing.

Bring yourself back to the words you spoke or action you took that you regret.

• What is it that you were yearning for when you made the choice you now regret? There was something you wanted more of in the world, for yourself or for others. [Using NVC we might ask, what needs were we trying to meet when we spoke or acted exactly as we did, even though we now regret the way we did it.]
• Make space to sit and give refuge to all of the needs you were trying to meet. Bear witness to their beauty and to your yearning for bringing that into the world for everyone.

You can stop here or bring this into the mishkan you want to build in the world

Bridging to the "Outer" Mishkan

We can now bring forth into the world full and willing hearts, the gifts of our inner witnessing practice. We carry the beauty of the needs we were trying to meet when we did what we now regret. And we carry the beauty of the needs behind the regret. This full and integrated heart constructs and fills the mishkan that can bring the great tikkun, healing, to our world.