Va’ethanan | Entering into Not Knowing

וָאֶתְחַנַּ֖ן אֶל־יְהֹוָ֑ה בָּעֵ֥ת הַהִ֖וא לֵאמֹֽר׃

I pleaded for Grace from the Eternally Present One at that time, saying,

אֲדֹנָ֣י יֱהֹוִ֗ה אַתָּ֤ה הַֽחִלּ֙וֹתָ֙ לְהַרְא֣וֹת אֶֽת־עַבְדְּךָ֔ אֶ֨ת־גׇּדְלְךָ֔ וְאֶת־יָדְךָ֖ הַחֲזָקָ֑ה אֲשֶׁ֤ר מִי־אֵל֙ בַּשָּׁמַ֣יִם וּבָאָ֔רֶץ אֲשֶׁר־יַעֲשֶׂ֥ה כְמַעֲשֶׂ֖יךָ וְכִגְבוּרֹתֶֽךָ׃

“O Eternally Connecting, You who let Your servant see the first works of Your greatness and Your mighty hand, You whose powerful deeds no god in heaven or on earth can equal!

אֶעְבְּרָה־נָּ֗א וְאֶרְאֶה֙ אֶת־הָאָ֣רֶץ הַטּוֹבָ֔ה אֲשֶׁ֖ר בְּעֵ֣בֶר הַיַּרְדֵּ֑ן הָהָ֥ר הַטּ֛וֹב הַזֶּ֖ה וְהַלְּבָנֹֽן׃

Let me, I pray, cross over and see the good land on the other side of the Jordan, that good hill country, and the Lebanon.” Eternally Present  said to me, “Enough! Never speak to Me of this matter again!

 וַיִּתְעַבֵּ֨ר יְהֹוָ֥ה בִּי֙ לְמַ֣עַנְכֶ֔ם וְלֹ֥א שָׁמַ֖ע אֵלָ֑י וַיֹּ֨אמֶר יְהֹוָ֤ה אֵלַי֙ רַב־לָ֔ךְ אַל־תּ֗וֹסֶף דַּבֵּ֥ר אֵלַ֛י ע֖וֹד בַּדָּבָ֥ר הַזֶּֽה׃

But Eternal Presence was wrathful with me on your account and would not listen to me.

Deuteronomy 3:23-26

 

Moses begins this week's Torah portion (parsha) by speaking a new name for the God of Torah: Eternally Connecting /אֲדֹנָ֣י יֱהֹוִ֗ה. He recognizes the power of staying in connection even as this great power denies his deepest dream of entering the Promised Land.

In an act of vulnerability and transparency rarely heard from a leader, Moses tells the people, and all the generations, how he asked for an act of grace and was pushed away. He teaches from his life, holding back nothing. He shares this painful story so that we can learn from his direct encounter with the pain and uncertainty born from the "no".

Moses transmits guidance to the people in the way he tells the story. He speaks his truth to power and asks directly for what he needs. He speaks, pleads, urges, for what he would like to happen. Let me into the Promised Land. His request relies on connection. Let me remind you of our deep connection, of how I have been a reliable witness to and celebrated your great works.

And when he hears "no," Moses listens deeply to understand what Life Unfolding wants Moses to understand from the "no."

עֲלֵ֣ה ׀ רֹ֣אשׁ הַפִּסְגָּ֗ה וְשָׂ֥א עֵינֶ֛יךָ יָ֧מָּה וְצָפֹ֛נָה וְתֵימָ֥נָה וּמִזְרָ֖חָה וּרְאֵ֣ה בְעֵינֶ֑יךָ כִּי־לֹ֥א תַעֲבֹ֖ר אֶת־הַיַּרְדֵּ֥ן הַזֶּֽה׃

Go up to the summit of Pisgah and gaze about, to the west, the north, the south, and the east. Look at it well, for you shall not go across yonder Jordan.

Deuteronomy 3:27

Moses is the last of his generation. He is the prophet and leader on whom the people have relied for harmony with the Flow of Life. Enslavement in the Narrow Place ripped this from them, and they needed Moses to lead them forward. But reliance on one person is too unstable and limited to build a new society. Moses' role as leader and teacher must end in the wilderness for the new generations to enter and occupy a Promised Land. They must develop their own relationship to the Flow of Life.

The Promised Land is the land where humans become fully alive and in connection with Life Unfolding (Rabbi Jonathan Kligler's translation of יְהֹוָ֤ה )  Life Unfolding is releasing Moses from his role as leader and teacher to make space for the next generations to fully connect with aliveness.

Maimonides, the great medieval Torah scholar and doctor to Sultan Saladin, suggested how The Eternal's "no" was an instruction for Moses to teach the people to stand on their own:

AND THE ETERNAL WAS ANGERED WITH ME FOR YOUR SAKES, AND SWORE THAT I SHOULD NOT GO OVER THE JORDAN. He repeated it in this place [despite having already mentioned it above, 1:37] as if to say: “The Eternal commanded me at that time to teach you, 79 Verse 14. the commandments that ye might do them in the Land whither ye go over to possess it; 79 Verse 14. now accept instruction from my mouth, for I must die in this land, (I must not go over the Jordan), 80 Verse 22. and I will not be able to teach you in the Land [of Israel] and so do not forget there what I have taught you [here], nor what you have seen at Sinai.

Rambam, from the Mishneh Torah

Moses understood that the Promised Land, like the Garden of Eden, is a manifestation of the consciousness of Oneness, of the One Source. The people can only abide there if and when their consciousness manifests it.

Here are some of the passages that highlight that the Promised Land manifests only when it is wise and discerning to all other peoples:

וּשְׁמַרְתֶּם֮ וַעֲשִׂיתֶם֒ כִּ֣י הִ֤וא חׇכְמַתְכֶם֙ וּבִ֣ינַתְכֶ֔ם לְעֵינֵ֖י הָעַמִּ֑ים אֲשֶׁ֣ר יִשְׁמְע֗וּן אֵ֚ת כׇּל־הַחֻקִּ֣ים הָאֵ֔לֶּה וְאָמְר֗וּ רַ֚ק עַם־חָכָ֣ם וְנָב֔וֹן הַגּ֥וֹי הַגָּד֖וֹל הַזֶּֽה׃

Observe them faithfully, for that will be proof of your wisdom and discernment to other peoples, who on hearing of all these laws will say, “Surely, that great nation is a wise and discerning people.”

Deuteronomy 4:26

The Promised Land manifests through awareness that the universe is to be shared among all peoples:

וּפֶן־תִּשָּׂ֨א עֵינֶ֜יךָ הַשָּׁמַ֗יְמָה וְֽ֠רָאִ֠יתָ אֶת־הַשֶּׁ֨מֶשׁ וְאֶת־הַיָּרֵ֜חַ וְאֶת־הַכּֽוֹכָבִ֗ים כֹּ֚ל צְבָ֣א הַשָּׁמַ֔יִם וְנִדַּחְתָּ֛ וְהִשְׁתַּחֲוִ֥יתָ לָהֶ֖ם וַעֲבַדְתָּ֑ם אֲשֶׁ֨ר חָלַ֜ק יְהֹוָ֤ה אֱלֹהֶ֙יךָ֙ אֹתָ֔ם לְכֹל֙ הָֽעַמִּ֔ים תַּ֖חַת כׇּל־הַשָּׁמָֽיִם׃

And when you look up to the sky and behold the sun and the moon and the stars, the whole heavenly host, you must not be lured into bowing down to them or serving them. These Eternally Present allotted to other peoples everywhere under heaven;

Deuteronomy 4:19

Moses transmits to the people the realization that in fact, we belong to the land and "possession" is ephemeral:

הַעִידֹ֩תִי֩ בָכֶ֨ם הַיּ֜וֹם אֶת־הַשָּׁמַ֣יִם וְאֶת־הָאָ֗רֶץ כִּֽי־אָבֹ֣ד תֹּאבֵדוּן֮ מַהֵר֒ מֵעַ֣ל הָאָ֔רֶץ אֲשֶׁ֨ר אַתֶּ֜ם עֹבְרִ֧ים אֶת־הַיַּרְדֵּ֛ן שָׁ֖מָּה לְרִשְׁתָּ֑הּ לֹֽא־תַאֲרִיכֻ֤ן יָמִים֙ עָלֶ֔יהָ כִּ֥י הִשָּׁמֵ֖ד תִּשָּׁמֵדֽוּן׃

I call heaven and earth this day to witness against you that you shall soon perish from the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess; you shall not long endure in it, but shall be utterly wiped out.

Deuteronomy 4:26

These passages invite us to look to other peoples who have mastered the sun and the moon and the stars for wisdom, leadership, and partnership. We can’t know or “master” all form; each of us only knows what our limited historical and cultural experiences have revealed to us. This is great spiritual guidance and also crucial for the survival of life as we know it. It mirrors how I imagine the Holy Land, a place where Jews, Christians, and Muslims can bring our gifts and wisdom and ways to get a full table. It mirrors how I envision the promise of America, where, as Martin Luther King said, ”I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”

Moses goes on to transmit that the weekly observance of Shabbat reminds us that even the descendants of the ones who fled the Narrow Place were enslaved; to remember that Narrowness can enslave any of us:

וְזָכַרְתָּ֗֞ כִּ֣י־עֶ֤֥בֶד הָיִ֣֙יתָ֙ ׀ בְּאֶ֣רֶץ מִצְרַ֔֗יִם וַיֹּצִ֨אֲךָ֜֩ יְהֹוָ֤֨ה אֱלֹהֶ֤֙יךָ֙ מִשָּׁ֔ם֙ בְּיָ֥֤ד חֲזָקָ֖ה֙ וּבִזְרֹ֣עַ נְטוּיָ֑֔ה עַל־כֵּ֗ן צִוְּךָ֙ יְהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֔יךָ לַעֲשׂ֖וֹת אֶת־י֥וֹם הַשַּׁבָּֽת׃

Remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt and Eternally Present as your God freed you from there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm; therefore Eternally Present as your God has commanded you to observe the sabbath day.

Deuteronomy 5:15

The Promised Land manifests when the ones entering embody these teachings and the consciousness from which they spring. This requires growth of spiritual discernment in the collective consciousness so the people and future generations do not misread spiritual teachings as calls to racism and genocide. The next verse I select here challenges us to discern which teachings are literal and which are spiritual metaphors for waking up:

כִּֽי־אִם־כֹּ֤ה תַעֲשׂוּ֙ לָהֶ֔ם מִזְבְּחֹתֵיהֶ֣ם תִּתֹּ֔צוּ וּמַצֵּבֹתָ֖ם תְּשַׁבֵּ֑רוּ וַאֲשֵֽׁירֵהֶם֙ תְּגַדֵּע֔וּן וּפְסִילֵיהֶ֖ם תִּשְׂרְפ֥וּן בָּאֵֽשׁ׃

Instead, this is what you shall do to them: you shall tear down their altars, smash their pillars, cut down their sacred posts, and consign their images to the fire.

Deuteronomy 7:5

What can we make of this? Moses, whose teacher, wife, and children were from other desert peoples, the Midianites. His instruction to the Israelites to destroy other people's sacred objects and refrain from intermarrying hearken to the Torahs and dharmas of so many spiritual traditions that use shocking violent language to wake us up.

What is this meant to wake us to? Why use this language?

It occurs to me that this could be the very passage about which my dear dharma-Torah sister Diana Wolkstein and I asked Thich Nhat Hanh in August of 2008. We were on a three month retreat with him and his entire community of nuns and monks from around the world. Each Shabbat morning, Diana and I climbed the mountain above Deer Park Monastery and studied Torah together. We found passages like this deeply disturbing because people are reading this literally in our troubled world. Is it meant to be literal?

Later, in front of the assembled sangha (community) we asked Thay (Thich Nhat Hanh), "Why is there so much violence between people and toward each other in Torah?" Thay answered, "Because of historical conditions." And he added, "Every spiritual tradition has mindfulness at its core; if it didn’t, it wouldn’t be a great spiritual tradition." He said, "Go and find the mindfulness in your tradition." That is when I began following the yearly Torah cycle in earnest, on the mountain of Deer Park Monastery.

I had the same question about violent metaphors when I first began Zen koan study. Are we really cutting cats in two, are teachers really hitting people over the head with sticks? Is the great sword of Boddhisattva (awakened being) Manjushi a physical sword?

I read it as a spiritual cry to wake us up. Wake up humans! Wake up to our true nature — we are earthlings. If we don’t find our way to sharing and working together in partnership with all peoples, we will sink the entire ship. Wake up!

Moses understood that the spiritual meaning of the Laws and Instructions is to walk and find your own way to the Source that has freed you. When you truly discern the freedom that comes from understanding Oneness, you find your way to  promised freedom. This is the meaning Moses transmits here.

The Jewish tradition draws much of the core liturgy from Moses' words in this section. Moses repeats the sh'ma prayer, twice to remind the people that listening for what connects us to ourselves, to God, to each other, is the consciousness that will manifest the Promised Land.

שְׁמַ֖ע יִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל יְהֹוָ֥ה אֱלֹהֵ֖ינוּ יְהֹוָ֥ה ׀ אֶחָֽד׃

Hear, O Israel! Eternally Present, our God, Eternally Present, Oneness.

Deuteronomy 6:4

The Torah (Teaching) for Moses

At the beginning of this week's Torah portion, Moses experiences Presence and hears a Voice that stops him from entering the Promised Land. Teachers and leaders throughout human history have heard this voice. King Ashoka and the Buddha in ancient India recognized this voice calling them to step out of their roles as kings and into their spiritual destinies. Moses has completed the dharma — destiny — of his public life. He has skillfully led a wounded, traumatized people to the edge of the wilderness. He has transmitted the teachings that can carry them over the river if they are ready for that.

It is time for him to leave the raft for them and make his own crossing. His time is running out as he soon will die. His challenge is to find a deeper connection to himself and the meaning of his life outside the roles that were thrust upon him and that he assumed. Who is he without those roles?

Stepping into Not Knowing

Moses' next stage toward enlightenment is to become comfortable with not-knowing. He has been blessed with the deepest knowing, with experiencing revelation. He came down from Sinai with his face transfigured into light. He came down again with the tablets engraved with the ten vibrations of divine image. His path now is from Knowing to Not Knowing.

Throughout their journey, the Israelites panicked when they encountered not-knowing. They build the golden calf when they didn't know if Moses was coming down from the mountain. They panicked and wanted to return to Egypt when they didn't know where their water would come from. Over and over they feared not-knowing.

Moses never lost his connection to Eternally Present and led the people back, again and again.

And yet, in our human form, not knowing is always present. Today the return of Covid and the escalation of climate catastrophe bring us to new edges of not knowing.

In Jewish tradition, Moses attains the highest spiritual development. He stands among and speaks for the people,  the descendants of the refugees from Egypt, reliving, recounting, the story of their decades of wandering homeless in the desert. And at the same time, he ascends and sees the Oneness ,the full promise of humanity, the possibility of magnificence, of freedom, of liberation. He faces the people and he faces liberation. In this transcendence of duality he is again face to face with that which is Eternally Present.

And Torah always reminds us that Moses also stands in the full human catastrophe. The experience of the Promised Land will remain hidden to Moses. This week's Torah portion began with Moses "pleading," asking for grace- let me be released from this wilderness where we humans are stuck in never enough-ness. Let me be released from this desert where earthlings never realize we have enough — rav lach — enough to share, enough to welcome the stranger, enough to live in harmony with the natural world.

Moses pleads for himself and for all of us — the descendants of the original wanderers — to learn to experience enough-ness in the midst of uncertainty. For Moses, it is accepting the gift of seeing and not entering the Promised Land. To truly and deeply find the gift in it is the great work of his life.

Moses is now given the opportunity to be freed from the cycle of exile and possession. This is a freedom born from experiencing enoughness in the midst of uncertainty and not knowing. This surely is the Torah for today, as earth is our witness, calling us to abandon possession, to stop considering Earth as our resource to exploit and to share and cooperate with all of her inhabitants and creatures.

 

---

 

Holy Rubble, Holy Garden for the First Shabbat of Consolation
by Elana Klugman

נַחֲמ֥וּ נַחֲמ֖וּ עַמִּ֑י   Nachamu, nachamu ami. Comfort oh comfort my people says your Havaya

       Isaiah 40:1

וָאֶתְחַנַּ֖ן אֶל־יְהֹוָ֑ה Va’ et Changan Adonai

 And he pleaded to the One

     Devarim  3:23–7:11

שַׁל־נְעָלֶ֙יךָ֙ מֵעַ֣ל רַגְלֶ֔יךָ כִּ֣י הַמָּק֗וֹם אֲשֶׁ֤ר אַתָּה֙ עוֹמֵ֣ד עָלָ֔יו אַדְמַת־קֹ֖דֶשׁ הֽוּא׃

Take your shoes off your feet, for the ground upon which you stand is holy

     Exodus 3:5

The claim that erets yisra’el is holy should not be read as a statement of ownership.  Holiness means a belonging to God, not to us, since we are not God’s exclusive earthly representatives.

      Art Green, 2020   Reflections on God, Life, and Love

holy troubled rubble

     Rabbi Mira Rivera

I take my shoes off 

in holy grass turned to pond 

through relentless storms 

of grief. I cross over the threshold

and enter my garden, where

the Torah of all things live, 

a mix of ruin and wonder,

possibility and death.  

The  22 letters call 

like approaching loons,

are spread like seeds

by bird and wind, 

growing into healing nettles

and mint, tangles of perennial

dreams.  I mourn all that

cannot return, habitats destroyed 

in air, water and land.  My consolation

is in this world of regular growth

and change, my head uncovered,

my arms bare, the heat

and humidity like a whale

who has swallowed me whole

and delivered me into this moment.

Nachamu, nachamu ami.

Everywhere I look

is a comforting comrade, 

see how we move towards and away 

from each other, the humming bird 

drunk on bee balm, a blue heron on pause 

listening for what she fears, 

the fisher cats hide  their burnished fierceness.  

I hope they can all tell 

I am unarmed

willing to dodge whatever

might harm me and still

allow their longings 

to live. I offer blueberries, 

my apples, first bloom of cucumber

and bean to all the resilient wild

who have a right to their feasts

on this land we share

who enter this garden, to 

live before dying,  Mosquitos

and black flies seek me out - 

they want what I don’t chose to give,

my rights and theirs buzzing 

in the humid air, while the fawn and mother 

deer approach seeking the sweet 

bark of lilac and magnolia.

The old raccoon who

thrilled my growing children

with a glimpse of the mysterious

found the welcoming leaves

of rhubarb and oregano, her choice

of where to spend her last hours

leaving behind 

her sharp and soft body.

Nachamu nachamu ami

our comfort found

in a generosity that is bigger

then us, that will survive us.

In Gan Eden, when asked 

to take responsibility,

the Adam, the first of us all,

blamed someone else

and so here we are 

in the flooded gardens

too hot, too cold and still 

the whippoorwill returns nightly as 

do the fireflies bringing light

in the gathering dusk.  There

are still bees who find my roses,

holy rascals, returning to the moist

center of red, their Yerushalayim.

Vaet’chanan, And he pleaded

for the sake of himself, his people

this garden, this earth 

beneath my feet - whole species of

insect, worm, bacteria

make the soil for the descendants, 

mine and yours.  A moth rests 

on my white shirt  over my heart

and suddenly I see 

that all my life had been a yearning

for just this moment

when I could be 

the homeland for light,

for one shimmer of time, 

for those seeking wings 

and let this be a way through 

the holy troubled rubble

that we might become the land 

to which the seeds are drawn

like the moth to the 

flickering heat 

of our singular hearts.

— Elana Klugman, draft 7-21-21

 

---

 

Both Sides Now
Joni Mitchell

Rows and flows of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere
Looked at clouds that way
But now they only block the sun
They rain and they snow on everyone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way

I've looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down and still somehow
It's cloud illusions I recall
I really don't know clouds at all

Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way that you feel
As every fairy tale comes real
I've looked at love that way
But now it's just another show
And you leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know
Don't give yourself away

I've looked at love from both sides now
From give and take and still somehow
It's love's illusions that I recall
I really don't know love
Really don't know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say, "I love you" right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I've looked at life that way
Oh, but now old friends they're acting strange
And they shake their heads and they tell me that I've changed
Well something's lost, but something's gained
In living every day

I've looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all
It's life's illusions that I recall
I really don't know life
I really don't know life at all

Source: LyricFind, Songwriters: Joni Mitchell

Both Sides, Now, lyrics © Crazy Crow Music / Siquomb Music Publishing, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC